Time for another small parenting rumination. Or rant, if you prefer. Not sure which it's going to turn out to be.
I just saw on our school district's Facebook page a post about a pep rally that the high school put on in preparation for 10th graders taking the state-mandated OGT tests. No, this is not a rant about high-stakes standardized tests--that's an entirely different blog post (one with more potty words). But I was struck with something that was mentioned in the caption: "Excellent attendance and behavior will be rewarded with a trip to Cedar Point." Say what now? In other words, if you show up to school as you're supposed to, and don't act like some jackwagon with antisocial personality disorder, we'll send you to an amusement park for the day? OK, fine.
Sigh. Look, I don't have a problem with encouraging good behavior. I don't even have a problem with occasionally praising good behavior and performance although I also think we overdo--unless your kid has serious problems spelling, there's really no need to treat every A on a spelling test like it's a cure for cancer. And I certainly don't have a problem with giving extraordinary recognition to an extraordinary act. For example, my older daughter is having her long hair cropped really short for the dual purpose of donating said hair and also raising money for childhood cancer research (PLUG: GO HERE TO DONATE!) Once she's done that, I've told her she can get the funky streaks in her hair that she's been bugging me for for months. But here's the thing. That was an added thing at the end, that I decided to throw on. She had already committed to donating her hair well before I told her she could get streaks, and it was a big and welcome surprise when I told her. I'm also pretty aware that this is an age where girls can get very funky in their heads with issues surrounding how they look--Abra's not an overly emotional kid, but I felt like this was an added positive to put in there. But I don't want my kids doing charitable acts just out of a desire to get a physical reward, because frankly, those rewards aren't always available. You don't do things for others strictly out of a sense of "What's in it for me?" unless you're a sociopath.
But even short of the sociopath example, I also have no interest in raising children who behave well in school simply so that they can get candy bars or inflatable animal sponges or whatever. I want children who behave well in school because you freaking behave well in school. Ever since they were in Kindergarten, my children have been reaping the questionable benefits of an elaborate system of bribery set up in the schools, and while they of course love it, I do not. I fully understand the theory of positive reinforcements and I think they have their place. I also understand that school teachers have the daunting task of trying to teach children, sometimes including kids with what I would term pre-existing conditions, behaviorally and academically speaking. Any short-term thing they can do to get and keep their students on track, they do. I get that. But I do wonder if kids grow up thinking that for the mere act of meeting basic expectations, they should get a frigging parade. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but worry about nothing is what I do sometimes.
