Reflecting a Bit Further

OK, well, I was a little annoyed yesterday when I made my last blog entry. I've had a day to think things over, and I have a few more things to say about it.

First, I'm not retracting what I said. I meant it, potty words included. That ridiculous tweet was offensive, it was snotty, it was at least as condescending as the remark it purported to address and was even more mean-spirited, and given the organization that posted it, was a pretty big plateful of hypocrisy.

And I should say a few words here about the organization. The Catholic League is NOT the Catholic Church. It's an organization founded, in its words, to protect the rights of Catholics (clergy and otherwise) to participate in the public sphere without fear of discrimination. For my money, particularly with its current man-at-the-helm Bill Donohue, it's a church-based PAC. It has without doubt in recent years become highly politically visible, politically active, and distinctly right-leaning. So, goes without saying I don't like it much, but I'm not going to quibble with the right of any citizen to engage in the public arena. But it isn't the Catholic church and doesn't represent Catholics at large (whether or not it purports to). So I should clarify that any and all potty words were directed at that organization and the jackass who posted the offensive tweet (I assume either Donohue or a staffer).

And the tweet has not been taken down, and to my knowledge, said jackass has never apologized for it. Even the RNC came out and condemned the remark, making the rather obvious point that as fiercely anti-abortion an organization as this is, it should be praising adoptive parents and not sneering at them. Jackass's response? This tweet, posted this morning: So the RNC is now lecturing me to "encourage adoptions." I do but kids deserve a father and a mother. RNC is a joke anyway.

This brings me to the next point that I wanted to make, and to emphasize perhaps more than I did in my post yesterday: the vitriolic, HATE-FILLED snarling directed at gay and lesbian parents. I am one of those folks who is, as the bumper sticker says, straight but not narrow. Happily married to a guy, thank you very much. And to the extent that I'm a good parent, the fact that I'm physically attracted to men doesn't have the first thing to do with it. It seriously doesn't. And, I daresay, same with Chris. The fact that we're reasonably good and reasonably successful parents probably at least 8o% of the time (which is about as good a percentage as most folks are going to manage) is utterly unrelated to our status as het folks. Chris would be just as good a dad, and I would be just as good a mom (and we'd both have the same shortcomings, too), if we preferred same-sex partners. I happen to know a number of parents in same-sex relationships and they're all great at it. They'd have the same strengths and shortcomings if they were straight. I'd have no problem with any of them raising my kids if my husband and I were hit by the same bus some day. Comments like the Catholic League's are simply nothing but snarling, hate-filled bigotry. Bigotry is always ugly, but it's never uglier than when it flies from the pulpit claiming the mantle of God.

And did you like that second tweet? Like "Oh, sure, I love adoption, but not THIS woman." But absolutely no apology for the tone of the original tweet, or even the slightest acknowledgement that some folks might justifiably have seen some douchebaggery in it. But when you say that someone "had to adopt her kids," and contrast that with another person who "had kids of her own," you just right there have pretty obviously said that adoptive parents aren't really parents. We adoptive parents tend to be pretty sensitive to that sort of horseshit. We all involuntarily stiffen a little when someone asks us if we have kids of our own, or if our children have ever met their real parents. I'll make allowances (a bit) for folks of a generation who grew up using that terminology. But not in this context. Not in a boxing ring like this, especially when it's clear that aforementioned douchebag isn't the slightest bit sorry and doesn't see anything wrong with what he said. In this context, fuck that guy.

Finally, I feel the need to close with this very cogent observation on the whole Rosen/CL flap, from the always-reliable TPM. He quotes one anonymous Republican staffer, opining whether this is a precursor of things to come over the next seven months, "Dear God I hope not. This presidential campaign makes me want to start doing drugs." Seems like as good an excuse as any.

Well, this is pretty offensive...

OK, Democratic adviser/operative Hillary Rosen said a completely freaking idiotic thing this morning on CNN, for which she has quite rightly apologized. For those who haven't heard and don't want to click links, she made the highly ill-advised comment that Ann Romney "has never worked a day in her life." It matters not that what she probably meant to say was that Ann Romney has never *had* to work outside the home a day in her life. That, I think, is indisputably true. But the comment she made has all flavors of wrong wrapped up in it: Attacking a candidate's wife (who by all appearances seems to be a perfectly nice person even though there's not a chance in hell I'm going to vote for her husband) by implying that she's lazy; leveling what is indisputably a cheap shot; and, for good measure, implying that staying out of the paid workforce and raising a family is not "work." It was bad, it was clumsy, and if she hasn't been fired from her position I would fervently hope that she's been at least reassigned for the duration of this campaign cycle to some position that does not involve yapping in front of a camera.

And of course, the whole thing provoked massive outrage on the right (and, to be fair, quite a lot on the left as well). This was predictable. Which is why, totally aside from whether on a moral level the comment was acceptable, it was a pretty bad political misstep. But my attention was drawn a short time ago to one particularly nasty, outrageous, and offensive piece of response on the right, courtesy of the Catholic League. Here's their lovely Tweet. If you can't or don't want to get there, here's what they decided to post to their Twitter account (and as of this writing, haven't had the good sense to take down yet): "Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own."

Well, that's just absolutely dripping with Jesus, isn't it? Wow, she's a Lesbian! That means she's worthless! For the record, I don't have the faintest idea whether Hillary Rosen is gay or straight. Hell, before noon today I'd never heard of the woman. I cannot imagine anything less relevant to the current conversation than the gender of this woman's preferred sexytime partner. But let's just assume for the moment that she's gay. Well, there's a nice comment, right? Ann Romney is better than Hillary Rosen because she's straight instead of some nasty dyke.

And then, POSSIBLY EVEN BETTER, Ann Romney is better than Hillary Rosen because Hillary Rosen adopted her children while Ann "had 5 of her own."

OK, that one's right in my wheelhouse. You know what, Catholic League? Fuck you. Fuck you twice. Fuck you one million times, and not in a nice way either. This, mind you, is an organization that is rabidly anti-choice, no doubt frequently touting adoption as being the duty of a woman who finds herself unexpectedly pregnant and not in a position to raise the child. You can't be a mother to this child? Honey, it's your duty to incubate it and then turn it over to someone who will. Except that this particular tweet would seem to indicate what that particular author's opinion is, anyway, of someone who is "stuck" adopting a child. Hypocrite.

I am the mother of two children. I gave birth to one, under less-than-storybook circumstances, but I knew I wanted to be a mother and I was in a position to raise her as a single mother (and fortunately for me didn't have to be a single mother forever). But it was MY CHOICE to give birth to her and not some religious bishop's choice, thank you very much. And I am also an adoptive mother. You know what? They're both "my own." They're both MY CHILDREN.

At least have the sense to take down your stupid tweet and apologize for it. And also, in case I haven't said it, Fuck you.