Friend-iquette

In the past few days on Facebook, I've had invitations or "Like Suggestions" from a few friends for a site that purports to let you run a program and see who's blocked you, or "de-friended" (or is it "un-friended?" I still can't bring myself to get behind the concept of "friend" as a verb) you. At first I thought, Oh, this looks interesting, and I started to go for it. But then I stopped. First of all, it was an awfully long script and it made me nervous. But then I thought about it, and thought, I don't actually want to know that information. If someone's un-friended me, that's their business, right?

I've only ever removed one person from my friends list, myself. And actually it wasn't anything personal. But I think this person's computer got hacked or something, because I was getting near-constant chat messages from him challenging me to take this or that quiz (and he'd pay me varying amounts of money if I could beat his high score), or encouraging me to visit this "sweet" web offer where he got his girlfriend a computer, or some other such nonsense. This was someone who posted almost nothing on his Facebook, and I didn't truthfully know him well at all to begin with. So rather than track down his email and send him a personal communication about the Russian/Indonesian/Nigerian/whatever company that had hacked his computer and was spamming his Facebook, I just took him off my friends list. But if this guy ever uses that program, assuming it even works, and looks up who blocked him, he's going to see me. And wonder what he did to hack me off--or, just conclude (as a number of people have over the years, I'm sure) that I'm just a bitch. Which bothers me a little bit, but frankly not nearly as much as the Facebook Spam did.

And I haven't de-friended/un-friended anyone for political views, either. I have quite a few FB friends whose political views I don't share (the vast majority date from my elementary/high school years in bright red Kansas). I respect the fact that a number of them have views diametrically opposed to mine--well, except for that Fred Phelps thing. We're all unanimous on that one, I think. But other than that loathsome excuse for a carbon-based life form, there are plenty of other things about which we actively disagree. Posting some right-wing silliness isn't going to get you taken off my FB friends list (though it will get an eye roll and will likely get your posts hidden for a couple of days). But, that's fine, that shouldn't really bother anyone. The only time I came close to de-friending anyone for a FB post was when that thing was going around a couple months back about people praying for Obama to die. Did. Not. Like. Aside from the fact that I mostly dig the guy, in light of this country's nasty history of political assassinations of black leaders and left-of-center politicians, that was just not cool. But still, I didn't pull the plug because...well, let's face it. If I'd been on FB 4 years ago (was it even around then?) and something similar had gone around about Dick Cheney, I might have done the same thing. And even now would be sorely tempted if Antonin Scalia or Glenn Beck were substituted for Obama. Let you who is without sin cast the first stone, as the quote goes. So, I just hid those instead.

That's not to say I wouldn't ever do it, as the Spam incident illustrates. Status updates, comments, or re-posts/sharing of articles which are racist or homophobic, would get you knocked off. And of course personal attacks, that goes without saying. But really, other than that I'm OK. Just because I'm not myself going to Click Like If I Love My Daughter, or Re-post If I Love Jesus/America/My Husband, totally does not mean it bothers me that you post that stuff if in fact you do. It's 100% cool by me. And if you want to share the latest Ross Douthat column or a YouTube clip of Rush Limbaugh (that corpulent slug), go ahead and God bless, although I'll hide your posts for a bit until it's scrolled off my page. And if you've removed me from your friends list, I don't really need to know about it.

But really, don't spam me.