Spellbound

As I posted on Facebook last month, the Fairfax Elementary PTA's team entry into the Reaching Heights Adult Spelling Bee included your intrepid author. To much resulting ridicule, we were unceremoniously ousted in the first round on the word "isosceles." Ugh.

So a couple of weeks ago, Abra came skipping excitedly out of aftercare asking me if she could be in this elementary school spelling bee, the information for which was in her homework folder. Sure, why not, I thought. She excitedly explained it was for third, fourth, and fifth graders. OK, great. Then I saw the flyer. Said spelling bee is set for March 19 in beautiful Euclid, which is kind of a haul. And the appearance of the flyer (which was date-stamped as having been received in the school district office back in January but was inexplicably being circulated less than two weeks before the event) made pretty clear that this was a shoestring operation. But, there was a number to call, and Abra really really really really REALLY wanted to do it. It's not like she was asking permission to go to a Kanye West concert, she wanted to do a spelling bee. So I called the number a few times and left a couple of messages. After a week of hearing nothing back I was about ready to say OK, well, if they're not getting back to me, I'm off the hook.

Sigh. They returned my call on Wednesday, explained how things worked to some extent, and it sounded like a really fun thing. And did I mention Abra really really really really REALLY wanted to do it? And her buddy Maddie was doing it, too, which of course seals it. OK, fine. So the Mihowski family schlepped ourselves on a Saturday afternoon out to a community center (which in its former life, in the first half of the twentieth century, was a high school) in Euclid for a spelling bee.

Holy crap was that badly run. They asked the kids to arrive by around 2:00, for a start time of 3:00. The participants and officiants actually took the stage at almost a quarter to four. Really? After telling the kids to be here an hour early, you're going to start 45 minutes late? REALLY??? Then we had a number of (just shoot me now) introductory remarks. I. Hate. Introductory. Remarks. They had a really wonderful singer, a local fifth-grader, take the stage and sing the national anthem which was lovely (though announcing to the audience that she was actually going to sing the national anthem would have alleviated an awkward moment when people took a moment to start standing). And then the spelling bee started.

The first rounds were, well, awful. Rules were unclearly explained and somewhat arbitrary and unfair--early round words were limited to words that were included on a list that was distributed with the flyer. And they made clear that there would be no definitions or using of words in a sentence. That's a pretty bad rule when the list includes words like "chili" (or is that "chilly?") and pail (or is that "pale?"). The problem was seriously compounded by a word pronouncer whose diction was frankly pretty bad. There were a few kids unfairly eliminated in the first round because of that. This, of course, produced angry parents who shouted interruptions. There were several stoppages of play, exchanges of words, yeesh. In order to try to mollify people the judges then tried to institute a rule that the child had to pronounce the word before s/he started spelling it, but that didn't really help.

At this point I have to say that I appreciate the fact that this operation was run entirely by volunteers, on pretty close to zero budget. I get that. That means it's not going to be slick with a lot of bells and whistles. That's no excuse. Rules clearly stated up front, and which are fair and standard for spelling bees, require no money. Also, I could tell just by listening to some of the people talk that there were people available who had better diction than the person who was pronouncing the words.

But Abra survived the early rounds and made it to the championship round, at which point they went off list and asked for regular random words. This threw a lot of kids who didn't know that words that weren't on the list might be asked. It also produced eliminations more quickly, including Abra and Maddie both. Abra took it with pretty good grace and just wanted to know if we were going to go out to eat. Heh.

So, the family spelling honor having been at least somewhat restored, we went out to the Winking Lizard, and now we're safely ensconced back home where Mommy can watch the Badgers' second-round game. And hope that nobody wants to do this next year.